Listening

Ok, it's been way, way too long since I posted. My apologies.

A lot of my friends are going through rough spots in their lives right now. Mental health issues, losing someone to suicide, struggling with debt, relationships falling apart, health problems, on and on...most of them have been relatively stable for awhile, so the other shoe was bound to drop, but jeez...it seems like it's hitting everybody at once. I've actually told a few people who aren't having problems right now that they're just flat-out not allowed to. Forbidden.

I've always been one of those people that everybody comes to with their problems. It's genetic, I think...My sister, my mom, and a couple of my aunts are the same way. I don't mind, most of the time. I like being able to help my friends out, whether it's giving advice or just being there to listen when they need to talk to somebody.

It gets frustrating sometimes, though. It's annoying when someone asks you for advice one day and then turns around the next and gets ticked off at you for giving them the very advice they asked for, because your answer wasn't what they wanted to hear. It's hard watching someone go through something painful when the only thing you can do for them is be there. It hurts to see so many people I care about suffering.

I'm glad this is my gift, though. No matter how tough it gets, I can do this. I can be there to listen, even when I can't help in other ways because of health problems. As long as my brain still works halfway decently, I can keep this up. I'll never be the friend they call to help them move, or the friend they ask to help paint their house, or the friend they go out hiking with...but I'll always be the friend that is there to support them. In some ways, I think that's the best friend to be. I'm a lot closer to a lot of people than I would ever have been otherwise.

I love you guys. I'm glad I get to be here for you, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard.