Metrotyping

I've lived in the DC area nearly my whole life. Since driving into DC is often an evil, horrible, nightmare-inducing experience (even when you're not the one driving), I've logged a decent share of miles on the Metro system. The Metro experience has changed somewhat over the years, of course -- as a kid it was a huge adventure, now it's mostly a way of getting from point A to point B. It's a good opportunity for people-watching though, and after awhile you start noticing how a lot of the riders fit into certain categories....

This is by no means a comprehensive list, of course...just a few of the more common Metro rider types.


The Obvious Tourist (Souvenierus Overloadii) -- The Obvious Tourist is here for the museum and monument experience, and is not particularly subtle about it. Fanny packs, socks with sandals, shirts branded with some sort of DC-related clipart, camera hanging from neck or wrist or shoulder...he's got it all. Usually travels in packs. Most common over the summer, particularly on weekends.

The Subtle Tourist (Imfromhereum Noreallyus) -- Unlike the Obvious Tourist, Subtle Tourist attempts to blend in with the locals. Perhaps she's been here before, perhaps she's afraid of making herself a target, maybe she just doesn't have the full-blown tourist's mindset. For whatever reason, she's less obvious about her tourist status. A backpack instead of a fanny pack, comfortable walking shoes, no publically displayed camera. She still has her indentifying signs, though; spending 15 minutes trying to figure out the farecard machine, peering nervously at the map at every stop, studying the signs intently before choosing an escalator. Same basic migratory patterns as Obvious Tourist, but generally travels in smaller packs.

Basic Commuter (Toandfromii Jobus) -- The Basic Commuter rides the metro twice a day, five days a week. He might have had some slight interest in the ride when he started, but he's been doing it so long that he just doesn't care anymore. He just wants to get where he's going with the least amount of hassle. Generally seen wearing standard office attire. Common accessories include briefcase, newspaper, and/or Blackberry. Usually ignores everyone else on the train. Rarely seen outside of weekday morning and late afternoon/early evening commuting hours.

Student (Teachersentmeum) -- Students often appear somewhat similar to the Subtle Tourist as far as attire/accessories go. The Student, however, falls within a specific age range; generally mid-teens through mid-20s, though the occasional large herd of younger Students may be encountered (always accompanied by slightly frazzled-looking adults). Older students also tend to be more familiar with the workings of the Metro system, since chances are this isn't the first time a teacher has sent them to DC. May be seen at any time during museum operating hours, though slightly more common on weekends. Often travels in small groups.

Young Couple (Loveydovus Twosomeii) -- The Young Couple generally falls into the late teens-early 30s age bracket. Often mostly oblivious to the riders around them, the Young Couple will engage in various levels of PDA, ranging from basic hand-holding to full-blown makeout sessions (the latter often accompanied by the occasional look of disgust from fellow riders). More commonly seen on weekday evenings and weekends.