LIGs

So, one of my favoritest bloggers (hooray!), TJ, posted today about her Lifelong Irrational Grudges. Best. Post. Ever. I finally have a name for them! I have so many of these it's not even funny...many directed towards the people I love dearly. As noted by TJ, these are irrational. Hence the middle word there. I don't need to have a reason for this stuff to annoy me, it just does.

Some of my more generic, anyone doing this drives me nuts LIGs:

• The showerhead. TJ mentioned this one too. Tall people (i.e. everyone that uses my shower except me) aim the showerhead further out. They leave it there. I get in, turn the shower on...spray of cold water, right in the stomach. NOT COOL, people. This is just as bad as leaving the seat up, I swear.
• Putting the milk/juice/soda/whatever back in the fridge with about two sips worth left. I don't CARE if you didn't have room in your glass. Chug that last bit straght out of the bottle.
• People who, upon learning that I am deaf, start talking either louder (DEAF, people, not hard of hearing), reeeeeeeeeeeally slooooooooooowly (not mentally challenged either), or with super-exaggerated lip movements (this does NOT make lipreading easier). I know they're just trying to help me understand them. I still have to fight the urge to reply in the same manner.
• Not knowing when to shut up/move on to a new topic. I will cheerfully listen to you talk about your new car/football game/whatever. When my eyes start glazing over half an hour later, though, it's time to stop. Please? 

I could go on, seriously, for hours about this. I have plenty of specific-person-type LIGs too, but those make more sense if you know the person, sooooo...I won't post those. For now, anyway. 

Post your own LIGs and link back to TJ! She wants 4,000 trackbacks. Get to work.

A Letter, Kind of...

I've always been better at getting my thoughts out coherently in writing. Typing. Whatever. I have a tendency to screw it up in person...saying too much, saying too little, sidetracking, phrasing things wrong, just generally failing to get my thoughts across. Not that I can't have a perfectly normal conversation...it's when I'm discussing something important that I tend to have problems.

I actually rehearse this stuff in my head when I can, prepping ahead of time. Do other people do this? Thinking out what I should say, how I should say it, how the other person might respond. This doesn't always work, though...sometimes there's no time, or an unexpected response, or a surprise tangent. That's when I tend to really flake out. I have had discussions and arguments where I totally failed to get my actual point across, because that part of my brain has issues or something.

Even when I do have time to plan things out beforehand, I don't always actually say them. What if I screw it up anyway, despite having it all planned out? I'm such a chicken about it sometimes, I really am. It can take weeks or months to get up the nerve to try to tell someone something, even when it's something simple...if it's serious, I get nervous, and screw it up, and...argh. Waiting is safer. I should be less nervous.

Writing it all out is easier...I can think about what I want to say, and look it over to make sure I'm actually saying it right. No struggling to find the right way to phrase something, no worrying about the other person throwing me a curveball, nothing. I just write. Even that doesn't always make it easy, just easier...

Having explained all that...writing this should be easier than it is, but I'm nervous, even though I shouldn't be. This is about as basic as it gets. I don't know when you will read this, because I don't blog as often as I should, so I know you don't check as often as you used to. I don't think I'll tell you to check, though...I will wait, and let you find it. A message in a bottle thrown out into the intertubes, as it were.

I love you.

I've known for awhile, but it was never the right moment to tell you, or when it was I couldn't find the words fast enough...I didn't want to put you in an awkward position, either, if you didn't feel the same way...and if you don't, that's ok. I hope you do, but don't feel like you have to say you do if you don't. I know I don't really have to tell you not to do anything you don't want to, but I am anyway. I don't want it said unless it's meant, you know?

Maybe you'll read this tonight. Maybe you won't read it for a month. I'm going to let it go and be patient instead of fumbling for a way to get it out without making a mess of it. You don't have to tell me when you do read it, either, if you don't want to. I won't cheat and look to see if you have or not. I'm just throwing my bottle out there and letting it float.

6 Months

So...6 months ago today...

I'm sitting in a Starbucks in the middle of DC, texting friends for moral support and wondering what the heck I'm getting myself into as I wait for a guy to show up. We'd been IMing for all of two weeks, and shooting each other messages on a dating site for about a week before that, and here I am, meeting him in person...am I nuts?

Well, yes, but that's another matter entirely *cough*.

So I'm sitting there, looking at my watch every couple minutes and texting frantically, trying to calm myself down tot he point that I wasn't practically hyperventalating...oh, look, a text from him. He's running a little late, he doesn't know the Metro system very well...ok, no problem. Breathing. Texting. What time is it? I'm insane! What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't like him?

Nervous? Me? Naaaah.

So finally, he does show up....

Oh wow, the pictures didn't do him justice. Hm, he's going to take some work to learn to lipread. And it's kind of noisy in here. He brought a notepad! Wow! He's a lot more laid back about this whole communication thing than I am....

So, off we go to the movie theater...to see Wall-E. What an adorable first date movie. I had almost screwed this one, up, but that's another story...anyway, into the movie...he pops back out to grab himself a snack. I'm too nervous to eat.

So far, so good...haven't done anything royally stupid yet...he's cute, he's funny, he seems to be enjoying himself...breathe.

Movie's over, time to go get something to eat...I had found a pizza place with good reviews nearby, and had a map saved on my iPod Touch...no problem, right? Down this street, turn here, walk a block, turn there...

We get lost. I do not have the best sense of direction.

We find the pizza place eventually, though. Decide to split a pizza...I don't even remember what was on it, aside from sausage...which I remember because I managed to drop some on the floor. Go me! I keep apologizing for having a hard time understanding him. I'm...awkward. He finally tells me to just relax.

Relax? Am I allowed to do that on a first date? Ok...relax. I'll try.

I relax. It's a lot more fun this way.

Pizza's done...we wander over to a museum, sit on the steps, and...sit, mostly. I try to make small talk...he tells me to just relax...just be. Don't have to talk every second. Just enjoy being here.

I am not very good at just...being. I try, though...and it isn't bad at all.

He shoots a video with his phone...I don't realize he was shooting video til after the fact, I thought he was taking a picture or two. I don't know what I said, if I said anything, on the video. It was cute of him, though. He invites me back to his place, too...I tell him I can't, not this time. Don't have enough time, have to meet my ride at the metro station too soon...but next time.

I want to have a next time. This guy is...wow.

Eventually, our butts get tired of the steps, but we aren't ready to go yet. Wander into the museum...oh yeah, can't wear anything on your back in an art museum. Backpack-style purse gets slung over my shoulder, but doesn't want to stay put...after it slides off my shoulder a couple times, he reaches over and takes it from me.

He is carrying my purse. In public. Without being asked. Holy crap.

I've been here before, and mention the wacky abstract "modern art" on the top floor. He hasn't seen it, but wants to. We find the stairs and start heading up. I don't do "up" stairs very well with my bad leg, but I manage. Second floor, need to find more stairs...oh, look, a stairwell. In we go, up we go...he stops on the landing. I stop too. Looking out the window...my leg doesn't mind the break.

I realize he's going to kiss me about half a second before it happens.

So much for breathing. Wow.

Kiss in the stairwell for a couple of minutes, even though it feels like a lot longer...

I wasn't going to kiss him on the first date, dangit! I'm glad I did. Or he did. Whatever.

Up the rest of the stairs we go. I still can't breathe. Jeez. He told me later that he didn't notice it took me a good 15 minutes to start breathing normally. We wander around for a bit...admiring some art, laughing a little bit at other art. Find a nice smooshy comfy bench out of the way in one of the galleries and park ourselves there for a few minutes. We check out each other's tattoos.

Back to wandering...and then it's time to go. I don't want to. Not much choice, though. Gotta meet my ride.

He rides the red line with me to the stop where I have to switch to orange. It's totally out of his way. He stands and waits with me, too, and doesn't leave til my train does.

Oh my gosh. So cute!

Best. First date. Ever. Seriously.

There have been lots more dates in the last 6 months. I'm still not good at just being. He still helps me relax.

I kinda like this guy. ;)

Panda

So, I felt like playing around in photoshop today. innit cute? I want to snuggle him. :)

O Christmas Tree!

So.

I went shopping with a couple of friends last night, and when we stopped at Michael's, we happened to see the most adorable little Christmas trees. On sale, even! They were all between 2 and 3 feet high, with lights, in several different colors. They had a pretty little 2-foot silver holographic sparkly tree. It pretty much had my name on it...it was $6...I bought the tree. One of my friends got the same one.

Having gotten said trees, we also needed some teeny little ornaments...I decided to go with a red/green/silver theme for mine, so I picked up some green jingle bells, some teeny red ball ornaments, a pretty little red/green/silver garland, some itty bitty candy canes, and some equally itty bitty Christmas gift shaped ornaments. I also got a teensy silver angel for the top of the tree

It's actually a pretty cute lil tree. The photo doesn't even begin to do it justice. It's impossible to capture the pretty rainbowiness of the branches without blowing the lights out completely. I put it up on top of my PC last night...in between boss attempts in Naxx, actually. Had to kill time somehow while everyone else was talking on vent.

No, it's not the traditional 7-foot-tall tree with a bazillion mismatched ornaments and rainbow twinkle lights...but it is my tree, and I like it. It really does suit my personality more than a traditional tree. Sparkly, artistic (limited palatte, yay!), and much more my size than a normal tree. Too bad there's not enough room for gifts under it. My beanie baby penguin shall have to suffice.

Bleh

It is drizzly and gross outside. One of those days where you just don't want to get out of bed, much less do anything.

I don't mind good storms -- I like them, in fact -- but drizzle is just depressing. Nobody, myself included, seems to have much motivation to do anything. Including think up good posts, actually. Maybe the drizzle and my brain will clear up and give me a better posting idea later...but I said I would post today, so.

A Day Early

I know, this should get posted tomorrow...but I dunno if I'll have the chance tomorrow, so here it is...overdone as it may be, things I'm thankful for:

My Family - they drive me nuts, I drive them nuts, we're about as far from normal as any family I've ever known...but we love each other. we support each other. We take care of each other.

My Sweetie - because he's a smart, funny pain in the butt who doesn't cut me any slack on things I shouldn't get any on while looking out for me when he knows I do need a little. And he's hot, too. ;)

My Friends - They're lunatics. Every last one of them. But so am I, so we suit each other. They're pretty darned awesome people.

My Dog - He knows it's his job to look out for me, and he does it to the best of his ability. As long as he's not distracted by food, anyway. He's a great little guy.

Technology - More specifically, the technology that lets me "hear", that lets me talk to people I'd never get to know otherwise, that lets me make phone calls, that lets me take care of stuff without having to leave the house...my life is not easy, but it's a lot easier than it would be without all these gadgets and gizmos. The just-for-fun ones are pretty awesome too.

Doctors - Even though I can't stand them sometimes, I've had some really fantastic doctors over the years...and they've kept me in much better shape than I would've been otherwise.

Books - I would not know well over half the random facts I've picked up over the years if it weren't for my books. I don't read as much as I used to, but I still love it.

Last, but far from least,

God - For all the things He has blessed me with, which I could take weeks trying to fully list.